I was perusing the refrigerated aisle at the Community Mercantile one dark and stormy day, when I spotted a pack of Wild Wood Organics Sproutofu Veggie Burgers. It was a new item so I went in for a closer look. What I found surprised me a little. "Quite Costly!" I exclaimed to myself. But being a man of great curiosity I had to try this strange new discovery. I must admit, at $3.99 for two patties my expectations were fairly high. Very mysterious, thought I. "This must be a champion among Veggie Burgers indeed". I made off with my prize and retreated to my secret lair for analysis.
I hastily removed my relic from its bag and began to decipher the instructions marked on it's rear. "Perishable. Keep Refrigerated. Dairy Free, Gluten Free. Heat and Enjoy.". My hopes faltered. Heat and Enjoy. But how to heat? By oven? By microwave machine? Steam? My mind was a whirl with the possibilities! But no, calm down. Rationalize. My eyes wander to the cabinet. Of course! The answer right in front of me! Staring me down. Begging acknowledgement. Pan Frying of course!
My excitement ballooned as my experiment drew to a close. Oil had been applied to the hot pan with the mysterious patty following. I had allowed the proper time for the product to heat correctly. Pan to bun transmission was a success! Topped with tomato, mustard, pickles and lettuce I greedily savored the results.
Eureka!!!!! Unlike any Veggie Burger I had tasted previous, this tender morsel melted in my mouth like the song of a thousand summers! My heart raced! My mind fluttered! And the angels cried out with one voice "Triuuuuuumph!!!!!!".
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